Beach Vacation

This view for the past week was everything I thought it would be: relaxing and rejuvenating. As the waves crashed on the shoreline I would stare out at the endless ocean just thinking. I opened my Kindle for the first time in over two years, and even finished three books in two days. Who am I? I guess I like to read at the beach. I checked in on Social Media here and there but did my best to just enjoy my surroundings and time with my family. My aunt was gifted me this trip as a birthday present and spending time with her and cousin was truly wonderful. 

The woman standing behind this sea turtle was the brains behind the design. Her husband who is not pictured spent close to 3 hours building this. Kids sat around anxiously awaiting to see what the final design would look like. He mentioned doing this because he could. It is his way to give back to this world and I think this is wonderful. His creativity inspired many little ones to build sand castles and even the adults got in on the fun. Great afternoon listening to him speak in more detail about how he enjoys the ocean and the building of different animals. 

Family is very important, especially when we are such a small family. Anytime we are together you can bet there is laughter, and plenty of crazy moments. We were lucky enough to have our cousin join us one night for a Mexican fiesta! I for one enjoyed my two margaritas! The guacamole was just OK. It had me missing Rocco's Tacos guacamole. 

And finally I was able to catch up with my co-worker and good friend who is getting married down here in August! She had a girls night at her apartment on Friday and then Monday the two of us hit the beach to walk in the early evening. The view is us driving back home but let me tell you, those two hours with her were just what I needed to get my act together. I needed her straight shooting and honesty to snap me out of what I am feeling. The anxiety, the depression, the feeling of failure, and the pressure I am putting on myself was consuming. Without even knowing I was spiraling quicker than I thought. Being unemployed is far from glamorous. For me, it is 100% stressful and my general anxiety sky rockets. Starting over is never easy as everyone will tell you. You have to start somewhere. I look forward to going home and getting my life back in order. This new chapter hasn't been written and I need to remember it's my chapter, not anyone else is. I have to do what is right for me. 

I started this vacation thinking I was going to have an "Ah-Ha" moment. ( See the picture below) What I have come to realize is that there is no one moment. I am human just like everyone else. I make mistakes. Nothing is perfect and I don't want perfect. I want to be the best Tracy I can be. I want to succeed at my own pace. 

Tonight is my last night and it is back to New Jersey tomorrow and I am ready. 



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